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I had so much more to write but I can't because klonopin is an amazing drug.

Good Night all. I hope to make a real update soon.

-Amanda

Loving all the script and flourishes!

So — Today was pretty great. Worth writing about!

I procured my Grandmothers car today and picked up Cassie in North Babylon. We then drove to Ronkonkama to the Materials Resource Center. At this place they sell all types of donated materials by the pound. I purchased a National Geographic Magazine from the 1930's, A bunch of buttons to make earrings out of, Three or four patches for clothing — including an anchor, a star, and other things, A stamp of the letter 'A' and these very interesting stickers that I could do a bunch of layer work with. Cassie purchased a few buttons and some really cool paper. In all we spent about $5.

After MRC we went to Unique Thrift in Westbury. We walked around in amazement as usual as it is one of the best thrift stores I have ever been to. I didn't get as much as I usually do today. However — we did get some stuff. I bought a Yahtzee Casino game and a gift for Danny. The gift was a "BeerBell" where you can "exercise while you drink." Absolutely hilarious! Cassie bought a puzzle and we both bought 8 rolls of New Kids on the Block wrapping paper. Lmfao. I might be forgetting about some stuff, but in all we spent about $7.

We had a really fun cheap day and Cassie is calling it the $12 shopping spree. It's amazing how much fun you can have for $6 each! I am glad Cassie is in the same mind frame as me when it comes to this type of 'shopping.' I can spend hours in places like this just searching.

After me and Cassie played some Scrabble Rebus which is a ridiculous game. After I dropped Cassie off and headed over to Rummers where I gave Danny his gift. We then went to Bagel Boss where I ate a fantastic Tuna Salad Salad. :D

Today was a great day. I hope tomorrow is just as good. I have my LLMD appointment and I am hoping for major changes. Wish me luck! Peace out all.

<3

I've been feeling so tired lately. It must just be a bad week for my Lyme. Immense fatigue and just generally blah. I just don't feel right. However, I am not getting worse. I just feel a little off.

I think the next time I see my LLMD things will change with my treatment. I think a different IV antibiotic is in my future. I also think I need to hit Bartonella a bit harder. Time will tell. My Lexapro dose will also get higher since I have been on the starting dose for about 2 months now. It has helped a lot and I am glad I started it.

This weekend was Dan and Joyce's wedding. I had a great time and it was nice to finally see them get married. They have been together for so long and are so happy together.

Attending two weddings this summer has made me think a bit about my own future. It's getting to the point where I can actually see myself married and settled down. Not that I am rushing.

A lot of this probably has to do with the fact that I am extremely happy with my current relationship. Bryan is my perfect match and I could only hope that we end up living the life we both want and deserve.

I need to rest and can't type anymore. I had a lot more I could have written but I'll save it for another time.

Lyme is kicking my ass.

Night!

vacations.com/50-photos-from-air-travels-glory-years


I thought some people might appreciate these photos. :D
Enjoy!

vacations.com/50-photos-from-air-travels-glory-years

"Cross that bridge when you come to it" is the worst advice I have ever received.

The above link is one of my favorite scenes from Scrubs.
The patient is deemed a hypochondriac and explains symptoms that just seem ridiculous.

"The pain starts here, then skips this area then goes here" etc etc.

It is funny because when me and Bryan watched it we were like...This is exactly what I/Amanda feel(s) on a daily basis. Skipping around pain!
Silly Lyme Disease.

So yes — One of my favorite scenes and I think it is utterly hilarious.
<3

I am really starting to realize why my Ex boyfriend is my Ex boyfriend. I am super happy with the decisions I have made in my romantic life in the last year. Really, Really pleased. I feel now 100% that I made the right decision.

He rarely speaks to me and we talked today about how I want to visit London again eventually and see my wonderful friends from across the pond. He then he says he would "Probably" want to see me. "Probably?" The word "Probably" still hasn't been 100% clarified.

I was then told that "I just have nothing I want to talk to you about atm." and that he will talk to me about it "Another Time"

When I asked why "Seeing me was such a life decision" he said "Well Tough — live with not understanding it for a few days"

He says I don't give him any "Time to think" — I just don't understand what there is to think about.

I am then told that I am overbearing and stressing him out.
Oh.
Seems like mind games to me.
Okay.

I think I should get slapped in the face a few more times this month. My face is starting to get theoretically red.

---

For those of you in London that would like to see me with no "Probablys" or "Maybes" — hearing from you would be very wonderful even though I won't be visiting for a long while.

<3

Just Purchased these on Ebay. Very excited. I have wanted Trumpet Flower beads for a long time now. :D

I am tired so I am going to make this quick:

My appeal for an extension of IV Rocephin got denied today.

Emblem Health says there is no evidence that I have Lyme Disease because the IgeneX test is not credible. (in a nutshell)

I didn't know I could be cured so fast! I am so excited!

.....

This is what I was expecting to hear from them, but they just put it so bluntly I wasn't expecting it to be written in this way.

I can appeal again but it costs $50. *eye roll*

I have sent letters to My senator, the Capitol, etc etc. This appeal letter will also be sent to those sources as well. I know this will never get covered and I have been paying out of pocket since they refused extension. To be honest I don't care about the expense anymore — I just wanted to share this tidbit of awesomeness.

I am going to go snark myself to sleep.

<3

Amanda

I seem to have the worst of luck when it comes to 50/50 chances. There is usually one favorable, and one unfavorable outcome. It's not like the chance is: "You will either get Chocolate or Vanilla Ice Cream." The choice is usually something like: You will win 1,000,000, or you will owe us 1,000,000 dollars.

When it comes to 50/50 chances I always get the shit end of the stick. I don't know if maybe probability just isn't on my side, or if I am just unlucky. Perhaps if I get the "bad" 50% for the rest of my life, a one time *huge & awesome* 50% is waiting to spring on me. Karma? Probability? Fate? Fuck knows.

If I have to guess between walking left and right and the correct way is right — I always walk left.
If I have to schedule a BBQ for Saturday or Sunday, and it rains Sunday, you will be damn sure that the BBQ will be on Sunday.
If I have to *guess* *ever* — I am always wrong. And it seems to *always* be a 50/50 chance.

Now what is my point? Today I get a call from my doctors office. They never call *me* so I knew something was up. I thought, oh perhaps they are calling because they haven't given me a blood test for 6 weeks and I have been on IV medication? Nah. They were calling to cancel my appointment for June 24th because my doctor will be on vacation. Now this is fine to me, I understand and I am not too peeved. The problem is that the nurse that called me had an attitude from minute one of the conversation. There are two nurses in that office — One is very understanding, patient, etc. The other just is not. I was probably the 10th person she had to call to cancel and she was probably just pissed — but to be quite frank that is not how I want to start my day.

So ok —Just reschedule me right? Oh well there are no openings apparently so I will have to wait till the end of July or see the P.A. instead who "Can do everything the doctor does". Once again, this isn't that big of a deal in any other situation but mine. This is my second appointment. The second appointment is where you assess everything that you did and said on your first appointment. I am on IV medication and I have a co infection which I am currently not treating for. I also never met the P.A. on my *FIRST * appointment, so I don't feel comfortable having my *SECOND* appointment with her. I have lots of things to talk about and I want to talk to the doctor. Apparently, this seemed like a ridiculous request to the nurse. She kept interrupting me by saying:

Amanda: moes?

Justin: oh shit, i forgot it was monday!

//

Moes Mondays Fail.

<3

Sean:
ya money sucks, i wish i could barder things

Amanda:
like your dick?

Sean:
no one wants tht silly

---

Danny:
oh so true.
he could use it as a bartering tool in like, "i won't touch you with my dick if you do ______ for me."

i have this really funny mental picture of sean chasing lee kessler around with his dick.

---

Sean:
hahahahhaha
omg
im going to do it

Let me just start this entry by saying a few things.

1. Fuck the show The Doctors.
2. Fuck the host of The Doctors. Just because you are good looking doesn't mean you know what you are talking about.
3. Fuck the CDC.

So with that said - My grandmother taped The Doctors today for me because she said they had a short segment about Lyme Disease. I knew it would be a disaster but I watched anyway.

The segment comes on and they said some beneficial true statements about ticks and rashes. Normal stuff. Whatever. But there were *tons* of uneducated false statements. Basically all their statements seemed like they came straight from a CDC convention power point presentation.

They stated that 80% of people get the rash — more like 40%

The main "doctor" said that the tick transmits Borrelia Burgdorferi....except he said "Borel-li-ia....Burg...dor...furi? Wow thats a mouthful!" It is pronounced Bore-el-ee-ah Burg-dor-feri. You are a DOCTOR (or so you call yourself). Get it right.

They then had the audacity to bring on someone for the CDC to talk for about 30 seconds about Lyme. He stated that once you get the rash 14-21 days of oral antibiotics are taken. Ok fine. Then he stated that if symptoms persist you need an additional 4 weeks. FALSE. It is SO much longer than that.

Maybe these doctors should talk to people who have lost loved ones to this disease. Maybe these doctors should take a look at our brains and see all the damage that has been done. Maybe these doctors should talk to people who's insurance companies stop giving a crap after 4 weeks of antibiotics because of your god forsaken false, skewed CDC guidelines. This disease is ruining people physically, emotionally, financially, and in many other ways — all because of the CDC and the IDSA's huge ego trip.

I am upset by Lyme being talked about on these daytime TV shows and after seeing this I am REALLY afraid of having an Oprah show about Lyme. The IDSA and the CDC are getting in there first with their nonsense because they know we can't even get a chance to show our side. Its like they know we are planning on it.

They are all being paid off to spew this nonsense. The guidelines aren't being changed for two reasons. MONEY and EGO — End of story.

Give me my life back and stop lying to America, to med students, and to the rest of the world where Lyme supposedly "doesnt exist".

I want to strangle someone with my IV tubing right about now, and then shove the IV pole up their ass until it latches on to some type of soul or conscience.

This could have been written much more eloquently, but I am just too mad to care.
Such Idiots.

I was listening to Fresh Air and they were speaking about the ethical ways to heal the American medical system. Here is an interesting quote about healthcare by a former ER physician:

So — I recently wrote the following statement on twitter.com:
Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Researching Probiotics. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Phone call? Oh wait no. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

About 5 minutes later, I got an email saying: Culturelle Probiotic (Culturelle) is now following your updates on Twitter.

How interesting. :P

http://www.peoplewhositinthedisabilityseatswhenimstandingonmycrutches.com/

Great Photoblog & Longest URL ever.

You can now shop at www.amandamorante.com.

I have set up a bigcartel account.

I have been doing some more crafting and decoupaging and figured I could sell most of it! Everything is still 'coming soon,' but it will be for sale soon.

Maybe I will sell some stuff, maybe I wont. Either way — I have a store up and running and I have something to occupy my time.

All proceeds go to my Lyme treatment.

Yay.